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Healing Body Image: The Spirit of the Matter
One of my favorite stories concerning the power of imagination takes place in India. It goes as follows:
A
drunken man gets on a bus, carrying a large, brown paper bag. Every
so often, he peers nervously into the bag, and drops in a few bread
crumbs. A second man, sitting across from the drunken man, watches his
behavior with growing curiosity. Finally, he asks "Sir, what do
you keep in that bag that you keep feeding?" The drunken man replies,
"A mongoose." "A mongoose!" the second man cries
out with astonishment, "Whatever for?"
"Well," says the drunken man,"sometimes when I drink
a lot, terrible snakes come out and try to kill me – huge pythons.
So I keep the mongoose with me to eat the snakes." "Sir,"
whispers the second man, "I have a secret for you. You are imagining
things – the snakes are not real." "That's O.K.,"
replies the drunken man, leaning toward him, "neither is the mongoose."
This story is a playful reminder of how imaginal concepts can take hold of us so deeply that they become our reality. When we talk about body image, we are talking about how we imagine our bodies – as well as the identities we place on our bodies. How we choose to view our bodies will not only determine our world view and sense of self, but will actually directly influence and shift our physical structure. Matter is not solid or fixed – it it a set of molecules in constant motion and subject to change, from a variety of factors. For example, quantum physics has shown experimentally that photons – a kind of subatomic particle – actually change, becoming either a particle or wave, depending on the observer watching them and what they expect to see. Similarly, posture and body structure alter radically depending on our sense of self. I have seen many people who have a lot of weight covering one part of their body that is serving as physical/ psychic protection. As they work through the associated emotional issues surrounding this area of their bodies it is not unusual for the weight to automatically redistribute to other places. They may not lose any weight, but their body shape and structure will change in response to psychological input. Our physical structure, in turn, will greatly influence how we view the world and either inhibit or support the development of our core identity as authentic beings in the world. If we are closed off, contracted or obsessed with outer body identities, it is impossible to be in touch with our core self. It is extremely difficult to connect with others if we are cut off from our own source, our own energy and our own creativity.
In our culture our bodies have become commodities. As commodities, they gain value by being closer to certain culturally sanctioned ideals. That is, the closer we are to external ideals such as slim, young, healthy and athletic, the more value (both in terms of marketing and relationships) we are believed to have. We have replaced moral virtue and purity with health and fitness as our new standard of goodness. How often do you hear statements like "I've been bad today –- I ate a chocolate bar" or "I've been good – I exercised all week." Looking at what we consider "good" and "bad" behavior in our personal lives tells us a lot about the identities we have or wish to have. When the focus is on our level of body control (as it so often is these days), it is a means of staying at a level of the false self. We are not dealing with core self or spirit here – we are dealing with a covering up of our true self by an ego position seeking a static, solidified, idealized identity and this, in turn, severs our ties to reality.
Looking in magazines we see the language of war in every ad. In a recent edition of Natural Health Magazine (and this is not a women's or fashion magazine) I saw such headlines as "Thighs to Die for,""The War against Cancer" and "Ten Tips for Fighting Fat." Currently we spend 33 billion dollars/year on diet products and $750 million on muscle building/fitness equipment. This is more than education and social services combined! Ironically, the more one imagines the body in terms of fixed identities and as a marketable object determining their self worth, the more miserable and alienated they become, because bodies are much more than that. Bodies are in constant change, they do age, we do get sick. What I hear perhaps most often, from clients who are caught up in this cycle, is a profound sense of emptiness and hunger, because in manipulating our bodies for our ego's own ends, we sever our connections with our authentic core selves and with life itself. This is profoundly painful. That's the irony – people are supposedly spending all this money and time on their bodies out of self-centeredness, when they are actually losing their sense of self altogether. I want to be clear here that I am not talking about people who choose to play with their appearance as a way of expressing themselves – I am talking about individuals who have become obsessed with an externalized body preoccupation. Many athletes and dancers and models are totally out of touch with what their bodies actually need or feel. Even some so called "holistic health" practices are more often mind over matter rather than mind working with matter. There is a fine line between using visualization, relaxation, diet and body therapies to enhance how we feel and get in touch with our bodies, as opposed to trying to achieve some agenda the ego has of trying to fix something "defective." Are you operating out of fear or terror – e.g. eating cholesterol will make me keel over or get fat thighs – or are you doing what feels good or appropriate to your body? It takes great strength and practice to follow an internalized, self-based standard as opposed to externally imposed demands.
Healing our body image (and bodies) means the possibility of using sensation, perception and movement to actually experience and tune into our bodies, from a position of equality. If we can actually surrender to our physical sensation in the present moment, we begin to experience a core self that is not substantive or solid – that is fluid and transcends our singular consciousness and expands to include others, from a place of compassion. The goal of this position is acceptance of our bodies, wherever they are at, in order to learn from them and determine what we actually need, from the inside out. There are many ways to experience this – meditation, gardening, dance, movement, NIA, certain forms of bodywork (such as Feldenkrais or Integral Yoga), creative activities and being in nature. Even washing dishes or vacuuming can be a means of tuning into our deeper selves – the key is being present in a state of mindfulness (which is a lot harder than it sounds, since we tend to live in the future or past unless we are deliberately focusing on some practice). Realistically, the demands of every day life exclude us from continuously being in touch with our bodies. Fully inhabiting our bodies is more an ideal. Hopefully, increased awareness and regular experience of this state can lead to more frequent return trips and greater ease at being fully present when we can.
Imagination is a wonderful tool and can create tremendous visions of hope and possibility. With increased mindfulness and compassion (for ourselves and others) imagination is freed to be liberating and expansive rather than neurotic or destructive.